A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
