We won't sleep together?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
