At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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