don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
