I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dear god my vagina.
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