It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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