also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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