I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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