Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
