Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
