Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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