you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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