Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
