i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
