David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
