Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
