So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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