i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
