watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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