What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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