We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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