I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
