There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
