He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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