Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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