talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
