I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
