All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
