hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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