I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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