i would punch a child for taco bell
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
