if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
