I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
