there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
