Apparently you make a good broom.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
