I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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