Im at strip club and am horny
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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