Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
