So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize