Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
