I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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