She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
