I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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