There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The best revenge is premature balding
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
