Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
