we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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