Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
from now on my penis is your penis
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize