C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
