even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
