I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
