seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
