There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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