Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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