im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
