How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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