i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want to have your abortion
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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