I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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