Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
