she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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