You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now