dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
